Can You Pray on Scraped Knees?

Last night, my 7 year old, Summer Grace, was riding her bike with her cousin. She turned a corner too fast and the next second, she was face down on the pavement. I knew what was coming. So I immediately put down my book and started walking to her.

Crying! Panic! Near Hysteria! “MOM, I CAN’T EVEN FEEL MY BONES!”

I scoop her up (which is no easy feat these days. She is just right, but she IS seven) and we go to the trauma center (aka, my bathroom).

It was such a yucky scrape. One of those kinds that will hurt for more than a day. I bandaged her up, wiped her tears, and told her even though her bones were numb O.0 she could go play again.

As she walked away, I felt so bad for her. Haven’t we all had a scrape like this? The kind where everytime you bend your knee, you feel a little pain. And well, as you know, it is a little hard to walk without bending your knees. Unless of course you are a penguin. Summer Grace is not a penguin.

But she did it, she walked. She gathered up her strength and her bones, and went on to play. She did some hopping instead walking at times, but she soldiered on.

Then I had a thought…..

What kind of strength, what kind of heart, did it take for Mary to stand there while Jesus was dying on the cross?

Just typing that sentence brings tears to my eyes.

I would have collapsed.

I would have charged that cross and torn it down.

But then again, that is why I am Summer Grace’s  mom and not Jesus’ mom. God chose Mary. Because somehow, someway, she was able to stand there and just be a presence.

If she had allowed HER worldly desires to win over God’s desires, Jesus would have still died on that cross for our sins. But what would be different is that Mary’s strength of character and her loyalty to God would not be her  legacy.

Mary did not watch her son, her Savior, die on that cross because she was cowardly. She stayed because she knew this was God’s will and she was determined to be a presence for her son, her Savior. She was there when He was born, and she would not leave His side as He died for her sins.

Sometimes that is all our children need. Our presence. God is working in your life. But it is much easier to forget He is also working in our children’s life. It is so hard to stand back and observe, relinquish control. But sometimes that is what we are called to do. And when we are walking with God in our everyday lives, it sure makes it easier to know where we are truly needed or where only our presence is needed.

So seek Him daily, through pray and His Word. Talk to Him like you talk to yourself. Constantly in your head have an ongoing prayer. Everyday pray for your children, your family, that they will have what it takes, that they will have the heart, to make their life about God.

And when you see a mom consistently living and praying in God’s will, you will see her children also living in His will.

Pray is powerful force. EVERYDAY pray for your children.

Psalm 127:1

Unless the Lord builds the house,

those who build it labor in vain.

Let God build your house. Sure, you can build it without Him. You can even be successful in this world without Him. But we are not of this world. We are of God’s world. So your labor, your parenting, will NOT BE IN VAIN if you let God build your house.

With God in charge of the building, you feel His presence. And oh man, it is better than any worldly prize. His presence is so warm, so comforting. The kind of Love that makes you feel like your chest could explode because you feel so protected and loved.

So let’s remember as moms, to take a step back before barging into our children’s moments. And ask ourselves, and ask God, does my child need my help or my presence?

You can be the mom you were meant to be , the one you need to be, the one you dream of being. You will mess it up and “scrape your knees”. But don’t give up.

Because nothing can ever STOP you from praying. Not even scraped knees.

http://facebook.com/thebondedmom

SG smile

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Posted in Mommies & Faith with some Gentle Parenting gently folded in | 4 Comments

Power in a Positive Parenting Way

This morning I listened to a webinar hosted by Amy McCready at Positive Parenting Solutions. She is one of my main inspirations throughout my Gentle Parenting journey.

And I came away with some fabulous stuff!

NEWFLASH: Our kids are designed to NEED attention and power. And don’t we parents know all about how they work at obtaining them! They whine, they nag, they ignore us, they slam doors,  they yell and throw tantrums…..well shoot, they act alot like us!

Power is so powerful. The power of independence. The power of free will. The power of controlling your own life.

Something very POWERful Amy said was that even infants need this power. If you ever try to hold an infant down or restrain them, they WILL FIGHT! We are born with the NEED to be our own power source.

And did you realize that every single request and every single reminder you give your child is an opportunity for a power struggle? This is what Amy said, and it was like the heavens opened and I finally understood!

Think about it. Here are 3 common scenarios:

  1. “Hurry up! you are going to be late!”
  2. “You still have not finished your homework?”
  3. “You are not going to have a sleepover this weekend with this mess in your room!”

If instead of requesting (nagging is what our kids hear) and reminding (again…nagging) which opens up the door for power struggles, try communication with a smile. Even if you have to fake it! Smile. And be positive, encouraging and empowering!

Remember TONE OF VOICE makes all the difference, so don’t forget your smile in your voice! Now take those 3 scenarios and think of the difference we could make, if we communicated this way instead:

  1. “You should start finishing up. It will be time to leave in 5 minutes.”
  2. “You must be loaded down with homework tonight! Is there anything I can do to help you?”
  3. “I noticed your room is a mess. I would like for you to have it clean before your sleepover this weekend.”

Another wonderful point she made is that all misbehavior is communication! We parents have the power to escalate the misbehavior by creating power struggles with our nagging and bossy tone of voice. More importantly, we parents have the power to change the misbehavior into a learning lesson by using encouraging and empowering speech with a smile in our voice.

Kids, just like adults, continue to do what works best and fasted for them. SO if throwing tantrums and slamming doors worked in the past, then that behavior will be repeated today.

But we can break the cycle. We can work on ourselves as parents and as people, and teach our children how to act THROUGH OUR ACTIONS!!

We are their teachers in the school of life. And they learn by our actions. So fake it until you make it! SMILE 🙂

http://facebook.com/thebondedmom

I know you see a very small UPS worker. But when he looks in the mirror, he sees "a fireman who saves people!"

I know you see a very small UPS worker. But when he looks in the mirror, he sees “a fireman who saves people!”

Webinar link: http://www.instantpresenter.com/ppswebinar/EA52D787804E

Amy McCready @ Positive Parenting Solutions: http://www.positiveparentingsolutions.com/blog

Posted in Mommies & Faith with some Gentle Parenting gently folded in | Leave a comment

The Beginning of My Journey…….Begins Everyday.

This summer, I began the earnest and everyday journey of becoming a Gentle Parent….or is it attachment parenting? or maybe positive parenting?  OK well anyways, call it what you want. It is what I want to be.

And after 7 months of  this oh-so gentle boot camp, I have a new name for this parenting lifestyle. EXTREME PARENTING. Because it is extremely hard, extremely rewarding, and extremely brilliant. And also, well….extremely worth it.

Do you know what Gentle Parenting is? It is everything you needed and wanted as a child. And everything you deserved, as well. It does not scream, it does not hit. It shows respect to children because they are people too.

I want to be the mom who never screams, never loses control.

Some days I am.

and I really love those days.

And when I am not, I don’t give in. I don’t give up. I apologize as soon as I come to my senses. And I start over and begin the process again in a tone that shows respect for my children, as well as myself.  Some people may say “Why should I show respect to my children, they are supposed to RESPECT ME!” But to get respect from your children, you have to teach it to them first. And teaching your children will always come from your actions.

Let me repeat that. Teaching your children will always come from your actions. every.single.time.

Every mistake is an opportunity to learn. Never waste a mistake! Never waste an opportunity to learn and improve. YOU are your best teacher. And YOU are your child’s best teacher.

Children are going to be molded. Make sure YOU do the molding. Mold them with love. Mold them with respect. Mold them with hope and passion for mankind. Do not mold them with an ongoing bad attitude, impatience, or bitterness. And certainly not with the world’s ways, which are not your ways, because they are not His ways.

You are so much more than that.

Love.

Are you love? To your children?

You are patient. You are kind. You do not envy, you do not boast, and you are not proud. You do not dishonor them, you are not self-seeking., you are not easily angered, you keep no record of wrongs. You do not delight in evil but you do rejoice in the truth. You always protect, always trust, always hope, and you always persevere.

You can do it! You can be love to your children. Because you can do all things through Him who gives you strength.

https://www.facebook.com/TheBondedMom

Kam&SG 2012

Posted in Mommies & Faith with some Gentle Parenting gently folded in | 4 Comments